Kyle Osborne's EntertainmentOrDie.Com

Movie Review: ‘Peppermint’ …Please, Make It Schnapp

Peppermint| 1 out of 4 Stars | Rated R

By Kyle Osborne

You have to hand it to Peppermint, the latest version of Death Wish/Equalizer, starring the always likable Jennifer Garner: It never settles for mediocre when it can go for full blown horrible instead.

Virtually every move by Director Pierre Morel turns into a slow ride to Hell. Every cutaway, every line reading, every ultra-obvious music cue. Even the background extras are lousy. It takes a truly awful actor to make a walk across the back of a shot seem fake, but Morel has left no stone unturned where it comes to casting. The actors who actually have lines to speak bear witness to his efforts.

Entertainment Or DieThere is a scene in a piñata store (don’t ask-it’s exactly what you think,) and what do you suppose the filmmakers have named the piñata store? They have creatively and helpfully named it “Amazing Piñatas.”

See what I’m saying? The store didn’t even need a name for the purposes of the scene, but having decided they would give it one, they chose to call it “Amazing Piñatas.”

I do have genuine affection for Jennifer Garner, and she does get to kick some serious ass, avenging the brutal murders of her adorable daughter and hunky husband in the first act. And I’ve never minded movie violence, which I believe has always had an important place in cinema, and which can serve as a cathartic element for audiences. Some of those scenes work here. A lot of shots are fired, a lot of blood is spilled. The best bit is a single punch to the face that happily shocks the viewer because of its simplicity-it gets a well earned guffaw.

They say that nobody ever intentionally sets out to make a bad movie. Hundreds of people and millions of dollars come together to try to make, well, a profit, for a start, but also something that will entertain audiences.

I’m afraid Peppermint fails on both accounts.

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