Kyle Osborne's EntertainmentOrDie.Com

‘The Black Phone’ a 70s Horror Throwback Minus the Scares

I can’t quote statistics; I can only say that as a kid growing up in the 70s, there was a LOT of “stranger danger” around every corner,   although we weren’t using that phrase just yet. We laugh at the trope of “get in the van, kiddie,” these days, but back then…that shit was real.

Bundy, Berkowitz, Gacy, and those are just some serial killers in the 70s. But my mind recalls all the weird dudes who did, in fact, drive vans.

Anyway, the new horror flick The Black Phone is set in 1978 (when Halloween was released, but that’s another story) and initially does a good job of putting us old folks back in that time and place, before ultimately being pretty good, but not great.

Siblings Finney and Gwen Shaw live in North Denver with an abusive, unpredictable father. Finney is the frequent victim of bullies at school, meanwhile younger sis Gwen is having dreams about a serial child abductor called The Grabber (Ethan Hawke in mask or make-up for his entire performance).

Their mother has previously died, but apparently had some psychic abilities when she was alive.  Gwen, it seems might have the same “gift” as her late other. Her own frequent dreams about The Grabber reveals details that the local police have never made public – so while her storyline takes her down one oath, Finney, who has now been abducted by The Grabber himself, gives us the ‘A’ story.

 Stuck in a cement basement room with just a mattress and a disconnected black phone on the wall. The story takes a supernatural turn while simultaneously slowing down the narrative.

That phone, which isn’t supposed to ring, occasionally does – and when Finney tentatively answers, it’s always one of The Grabber’s  previous victims, reaching out from the grave, as it were, with advice for how Finney might find an escape that eluded the previous half dozen boys.

It’s an interesting storytelling device but to me, it took a reality based story into a supernatural side street, and I wish it could have been one or the other. I mean, just the weird mask alone would have been enough to scare the bejeezus out of me, but our villain is seen about as often as the shark in Jaws, but without the shocking effect.

Written as a short story by Joe Hill (son of Stephen King), I can see how it would have been a real page-turner.  In fact, I’m going to seek it out.  As a movie however, I wanted to be scared and given more information about the killer (I mean, didn’t we get backstories about Jason and Mike Myers back in the day?)

The folks at Blumhouse at least know how to make potentially schlocky fare rather classy for the genre. And this is classy and well done. But whatever was the page didn’t quite make it to the stage.The Black Phone is currently in theaters and will stream on Universal’s Peacock website in about a month. 2 ½ out of 4 Stars

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